While mowing my lawn today, I came across a few artifacts that inspired the following poem.
Dear neigbors
You know who you are
The ones who walk your dogs
And hide by my car
To your miniture schnauzers and shitzus
And boxers with mits who
Like to leave their poo
On my front lawn
I have but one request
Please change their diets at my behest
Because tiny kibbles n’ little bits
Result in urine and …
Well a bit more than bits
On my front lawn
To those who think they are wiser
And claim its good fertilizer
That these modest piles of steam
Will make my lawn green
I have but one reply
Experts that chime in
Say doggy doo is good for your skin
So mix it with water and aloe and pound into paste
Then smear the product all over your face
Now be smart
Now be frugal
Leave nothing to waste
I am sure cretins like you all
Will enjoy the taste
So if you walk by
Please be so kind as to scoop
Or better yet, keep your canines so cute
And there nourishing poop
The hell off of my front lawn!